It’s late. The house is quiet, because everyone has gone to bed, except for me. And I have this soul searching to do, so I may as well do it here, right?
Except, that’s been the thing, really. I haven’t been doing my soul searching here. And that leads me to ask: why do I have this blog?
Really, it’s a bigger question than that. I have this creative itch, and I’m not sure how to scratch it or what I’m looking for. Or, maybe what I’m really saying is: I’m not sure who my audience is anymore.
For all that I like my solitude, I find that my creative outlets require other people. Game design, DJing, even writing–I need someone to be on the other side, interacting with what I’m making.
But I’m not sure who that is anymore. And that makes it hard for me to create.
On top of that, to be honest, I haven’t felt safe on the Internet in a long time. But, really, that’s just a function of not knowing who my audience is. Or, maybe better, it’s a function of not knowing who my community is. Or, even better, the overlapping of my communities.
From the beginning, I’ve insisted on an integrated Internet existence. I could be the nodal point where the various disparate communities of which I partake could meet and interact. Yeah, maybe you didn’t know each other, but you knew me, and so that could be enough, right?
But there’s been so much turnover in my communities, and strife and fear have resulted. As such, I’ve withdrawn, hiding in my shell where I couldn’t be hurt. At least, so ran the theory. But it hasn’t really helped. Instead, I’ve just become silent in the world.
And I don’t want to be silent anymore
Earlier today on Twitter, I wrote that I was giving thought to pursuing creativity again. To having a plan. Well, maybe the first step is simply to identify my audiences. Who am I trying to connect with? Who am I hoping will be listening? I have some ideas on this, but I’d love to hear from any of you, too.
So here’s where I’m going to get really needy. For all of you reading this, why are you here? What are you hoping to get out of reading what I write? Why do you come back?
I don’t just want to be speaking into the void. So, let me know: are you out there?
And who are you?