On a passing year and the beginning of the new

I’m writing this, because I need to exorcise this from my mind. I’m writing this in one take because I refuse to give too much time to the dark. This year is different.

I’ve loved “A Long December” by the Counting Crows ever since it came out. In 1996, it was my theme song. December of 1996 was my long December, and I haven’t forgotten. “A long December and there’s reason to believe/that maybe this year will be better than the last”. But, you know, sung without the level of confidence that such lines should inspire. There’s less of hope in that song and more of a desperate clinging to hope, that the worst is behind us–must be behind us–or else it’s too much to take.

Last year, God gave me another song: “Winter Song” by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson.

They say that things just cannot grow
beneath the winter snow,
or so I have been told.

They say we’re buried far,
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Is love alive?
Is love alive?
Is love alive?

And in the music video, when the flower dies, and I wept when I saw it, because I was the flower, and was there anything left. And last year I played this song for my daughter, and we wept, and I promised her that it would be better. That this year would be better. That there was reason to believe that maybe this year would be better than the last. It was a desperate clinging to hope.

But it has. 2012 has been a better year.

And I look ahead to 2013, and there’s reason to believe, that maybe this year will be better than the last.

And that’s all the introspection I’m going to allow. It’s time to make the kaldomar and celebrate the coming of my Savior, who makes all things new. The dark is past; the light has come. Merry Christmas, everyone!

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