So, I’m considering myself tagged by both Emil and Raquel. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t really care. I tend to look at that kind of thing as peer pressure, which I resist on general principle. But I decided to go with this one, because I think that Adiel has a point.
And, for that matter, I wonder if this is less “things I’m not ashamed of” and more “things I wish I weren’t ashamed of”. You know, stuff I wish that I could tell you. And now, because it’s just a silly game, I can get away with risking little bits of myself. Because, after all, it’s just a game, right?
(There’s an entire blog post in the power of games to break down social barriers, but that’s not this post….)
So, in no particular order, here goes.
1. I love games. This probably doesn’t come as a surprise to people reading this blog. But, perhaps I haven’t really expressed exactly what I mean. I love games the way some people around me love music. I love playing games. I love thinking about games. I love considering game mechanics, and the social impact of games, and how the study of games helps us understand people and social structures and economics and body language. I love the metaphors innate in a game (compare the hierarchy of Chess with the territory of Go with the networks of Dvonn.) Games are serious business, and I love all of it.
2. I’m generally tired of being a “Reformed” Christian. So often, “Reformed” Christians are grumpy people, spreading the “joy” of the Lord by spitting on smiling people and then telling them that being happy is bad and that they’ll get used to it as they become more sanctified. This is also a totally unfair, non-nuanced portrayal that reflects the emotional content of my objections, not my intellectual reasons.
3. I am largely yet inconsistently disillusioned with high culture. I’d rather listen to Nightwish or Lecrae or Pink Floyd before listening to Mozart, Chopin, or Beethoven. And yet, Bach’s “Mass in B Minor” still has a special place in my heart.
4. I’d love to figure out a way to marry a liturgy like The Book of Common Prayer to modern worship music. I also know that I’m not the person who will figure this out.
5. I find singing in four-part harmony to be distracting and, at times, very frustrating.
6. I am far more emotional than I sometimes seem.
7. A while ago, I figured out that Jesus called me to gamble everything on His promise that His way was better. It’s like He said to gamble everything on a spin of the roulette wheel. “Put it on 0,” He says. And so I do. The ball is still bouncing around, but I know that it will land where He said it would.
8. My fondest dream is to be an elder in a church comprised of drug dealers, prostitutes, and abused children, all of whom Jesus has rescued.
9. I am afraid that I don’t know how much #8 will cost me.
10. I don’t really like being on the front lines of a conflict. Really, I generally wish that people would just leave me alone.
11. I like being on the front lines of a conflict. I think that I would be bored if I weren’t.
12. I like music with drums or heavy percussive elements. This ranges from Paul Van Dyk and Delerium to Kodo.
13. I understand my world better through roleplaying games. Other games I play to turn away from the problems of the world. Roleplaying games I play to connect to the problems of the world. Crystal says that it’s because I’m a counselor at heart. I think that she’s probably right.
14. I get overwhelmed by large crowds. They actually make me feel very lonely. I’d rather be with just a couple of people that I can actually talk to than be in a huge crowd of people, all alone.
15. I love Peoria. I love being part of my city, warts and all. And, I’m coming to appreciate the urban life. At one point, I probably would have wanted to stay far away from a large city. Now, visiting Los Angeles sounds like it could be a lot of fun.